Bryanna and the City

Monday, February 27, 2006

Random Musings or I'm smart and I fart.

My sister (the one who is not running around Aus right now) and I were kidnapped by a hot cougar on Friday night. Her name was Rhonda and she was tons of fun, plus she got us on the Roxy guest list (i.e. no waiting or shivering in the line) and hooked us up with Carl (the sound man for the band playing that night) who fed us free drinks all night (well, three...but that's usually enough for me). Oh, and she even made sure that we got home (alone) at the end of the night okay. Rhonda was def. one cool cat, I mean cougar, with a body that I want now, let alone when I'm forty. I had a great time with my sis and Rhonda...which could be attributed to the fact that I was a tad tipsy, or the fact that I had not been out on a Friday night since last summer...but I'd like to think that it was just the good company...sans the creepy dance floor guy who kissed me on the cheek (much to my dismay) and the sweater set Mexican exchange student who somehow snagged my email (for this what the kids are asking for these days?). was a fun night.

So, I'm trying to apply for jobs to complete my Arts Co-op requirements and, well, it's not going very well. I'm being...somewhat, er, "choosy". So far, I've dropped off 1....ONE application and I'm not sure I even want that job. I guess I'm just realising what a catch I am (both in the dating game and the job market game) and I don't want to let "just anyone" hire me...or date me. And when I say "catch" I don't mean to sound egotistical, I just mean to say that I'm extremely artistic, talented, intelligent, creative, funny, inventive and pretty darn cute. Oh shut up...I just got rejected by a skateboarding burn-out. I'm trying to think positively here people, plus it's so true....shut up, shut up, shut up...oh and by the way, this does not bode well for any guy trying to pick me up..when a few randoms were persistant on getting my phone number (seriously guys, if a girl hesitates and declines...back off!!!), I responded by saying...well, I could give it to you, but the chances of me actually answering your call are very....VERY slim. So what's the point? Two actually took this callenge and so far...I'M WINNING.

I just got back a paper from my Museum Anthropology class...a paper that made me cringe and break a small sweat (oops, I mean "glow") when I handed it in...because I was sure, no, I was POSITIVE, that it was complete and utter crap...CRAP I tell you. Turns out I received the highest mark in the class...92%!!! Anyways, I told this story just to illustrate that I don't really think I'm that smart (but some people obviously do)...he he he...I'll shut up now.


Oh, and just so I don't sound like a completely smug bastard I'll let you in on a little secret...right now I'm suffering from a HORRIBLE flare up of my IBS (just ask my poor roommates and sister)...which means crampage, extreme bloatage (my stomach gargles, growls and barks at me when I press on it), gasage, constipationage, fartage during classage and the occasional (if I'm lucky) rabbit-turd like bowel movement...oh, it is fun times in my stomach right now...and no amount of prunes, tea, coffee, or grapefruit can help me at this point...

Er, anyways...

How are Y'ALL doing?

Wednesday, February 22, 2006 know, over the rainbow...and behind the pot of gold.

Being single isn't so bad when this man (all the way in Switzerland) thinks I'm the "bee's knees"...and he's coming to visit in 5 months! We spent two nights tearing up the dance floor in Mykonos and snogging *just a little* (mom)...I can't wait to show him around "the Couv" as Beth's sister calls it. Anyways...just dreaming of jet planes...

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Ding-dong the rat is dead!

That's right.
You heard me.
The. Rat. Is. Dead.
I saw it myself.
His shiny, black coat.
His big ears.
And his freakishly long tail.
The congealed blood from the trap violently crushing part of it's skull and neck.
I couldn't help but observe how cute and somewhat beautiful it was (sans the blood and gore).
I guess that's it.*
No more running through my walls at 4:30 in the morning.
No more pooping in the couch.
No more eating our scraps.
R.I.P were one smart, tricky, tricky rat.

* I'm choosing (at the moment) to believe that there was just one. . .

Monday, February 20, 2006

And the Rat ran away with the Skunk.

The Skunk?
The Skunk.
The Rat ran away with the Skunk.

So, apparently a "Rat Man" came by while I was back home over my reading break. My roommates informed me that he looked around and decided that the rat had left...and his theory was that the rat ran away with the skunk who used to live in the shed behind the house.


Okay, so I'm not a "Rat Man" and I suspect that this dude whose only credentials is a "science degree" is not a "Rat Man" either. For a few VERY obvious reasons:

1. Our rodent situation is plural not singular.
2. The fact that he ignored the ever growing hole in the wall...and the fresh dry wall debris.
3. The rat obviously said see you later biatch to the skunk once he figured out how to get inside the heated house.
4. Skunks and rats running away together??????? Huh? What?
5. My roommate heard the rat in the walls after he left.

So, the rodent saga continues...

Tuesday, February 14, 2006



Happy V-DAY Lovers!!! (revised version)

For the special people in my life...and if you're not in these pictures, I most likely don't have a picture of shut it (I love you too!)...Happy Valentine's Day!!!

P.S. My camera spontaneously combusted a couple of days ago or I dropped it (like a foot, seriously, lame!)...whichever, anyways, it's broken (ack! gasp! the horror!!!!) and so is my heart...because I love taking pictures (of myself mostly). Anyways, I'm going to see if my extended "warranty" covers it...hopefully...'cause I def have no $$ to replace it at this point.

P.P.S. I bet people won't be able to guess which picture(s) is/are of me and my sisters....or maybe this just gave it away?

Friday, February 10, 2006

Life is like a rat infested apartment...

you think you've sorted out all the shit....and then you flip over your couch cushions and find a huge pile of it.

I'm so wise...

But this story is so true. Last Friday we spent hours cleaning up the basement suite and then revelled in the cleanliness of it all...but then, on Wednesday night, we flipped over the couch cushions to find.....literally like a hundred turds. It was the most digusting thing I have ever seen. I have pictures...for possible legal purposes, but I'm afraid I won't be sharing them with you....I'm too ashamed...

I live with dirty rats...and have been sitting on a pile of shit for a month.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Simple Equation....with pictures!

1 Deleted Phone Number

+ 1 New Ring to Replace the Sacrificed Earrings....

+ 2 Hours in my Red Tutu Dancing to Aretha Franklin , Carly Simon, Janis Joplin, Carole King and Judy Collins....

= Me 99.9% Over You!!!

P.S. there may have been some eating ice cream and brownies (with chocolate sauce) with my roommates while watching "Girls Just Want to Have Fun!" in this equation as well.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Getting past the hurt...and pass me a paper bag.

Whether it's intentional or not, when someone hurts me emotionally, I have a very hard time understanding it from his or her point of view and understanding why he or she decided to hurt my feelings or....getting over it. My sister recently told me not to let "him" know that he's hurt me. Not to give him that satisfacation...but I don't think I'm capable of doing this. However, it's not just hurt I've been feeling about this, but also confusion, anger, worry, guilt, triumph, regret...and the list goes on.

Thirty minutes ago I received a long awaited phone call. I phone call that I hoped would offer me some "closure". The phone call that would let me know that he's alright so that I can stop worrying and obsessing about him. Well, I didn't get that. Instead, I got the same old bull-shit that he's been giving me for the past two months. With a shaking voice I expressed my anger, something that I wanted so hard not to do and after it was over, I hyperventilated on the toilet. If you've never done that (I mean hyperventilate), it's quite a freaky experience...which, for me, included a gasping for air/crying combination, along with wildy shaking legs and body, numb, tingly lips and fingers and 5 minutes of feeling completely out of control...followed by 10 minutes of muffled sobbing in my pillow (so as not to scare my landlords).

I'm not writing this for sympathy...seriously, I just need to get it out because I don't want to have to deal with this anymore. Plus, I know this reaction is not isolated to a stupid two month relationship. I'm stressed and anxious about other things in my life, which this just makes worse. So, seriously it's enough. I've had enough. Seriously. ENOUGH.