Bryanna and the City

Friday, August 31, 2007

Oh, hey there!

So have you noticed that my comments are moderated now?

Ha ha, funny story.

I left a comment on a blog a couple of months ago and I guess the blogger didn't like my objection to her making fun of a three year old child's looks because she (oops! he or she…heh heh) came over to my fluffy, pink, and teal blog and started flinging around some hilarious pejorative words for the female genitalia…like *lean in, I need to whisper it in your ear…it's a very naughty word* . . . c. u. n. t!

At first I was a little shocked and confused that a supposedly grown woman would be so ignorant to think that calling another woman a cunt was a viable insult. No, really? I thought that word was exclusively used by porn stars and 14 year old boys? Sean and I used it as a pet name for each other after I told him about it, but it doesn't go over well in public when you call your boyfriend a sweet cunt. Anyways, I wasn't sure how to respond, so instead I deleted the comment. After a few weeks went by, I stopped seeing her on my Sitemeter. I did, however, write a few passive aggressive posts that she would understand, but decided against posting them. Since she doesn't seem to drop by anymore, I would like to share my favourite one with you now. In one of her comments she said that I had a stick up my ass. So, without further ado, I present to you, the news from June 6, 2007:

Stick Literally Removed from B.C. Woman's Ass

A B.C. woman is recovering in hospital this week after having an 8 inch wooden chopstick surgically removed from her colon. The 24 year old Vancouver resident, who wishes to remain anonymous, says she started to feel mild discomfort in her lower abdominal region about a week ago. "I thought I just had a lot of gas, but I knew something was seriously wrong when I woke up on Sunday morning and could barely get out of bed [...] the pain was excruciating." An emergency X-Ray revealed a foreign stick-like object lodged in her lower colon, which was later discovered to be a chopstick.

Dr. Schtikupmuas, the surgeon who performed the extraction surgery, says that he's seen many similar cases. "Nothing shocks me anymore", reports Schtikupmuas, "I've removed keys, light bulbs, toy cars, and even a McDonald's edition Barbie from numerous patients' rectums."

As to how the chopstick found its way into her colon, the woman believes that she must have ingested the object while inhaling a sushi meal. "I was absolutely famished after running the SUN RUN in April and I ate a lot of sushi. I must not have noticed the chopstick go down with all that raw fish and rice."

Schtikupmuas says that his patient is recovering well and should be back to eating sushi in no time. As for the woman, she says she's done with chopsticks altogether, "next time I'll be using my hands."

Have a great long weekend!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

The Road From Here

If you think that I have stopped blogging, you would be wrong. Oh no, I have not stopped blogging in the slightest, I have instead developed a bad habit of starting blog posts and not finishing them, writing blog posts and not publishing them and publishing blog posts and then deleting them. So, what may seem like a lull in my commitment to Bryanna and the City - and you - is actually not a lull at all but a resistance/apprehension to following through with what I have written. Right now I have at a least 6 posts - some finished, some not/some good, some not - sitting in blog pergatory known as "Save as D(r)aft" just waiting to make their debut. However, being that they are outdated, I would rather write something new. Who knows? Maybe I won't even publish this post. Hmmm...

I cancelled my cell-phone last week. Yeah, I am without a mobile phone, as in I do not have a telephone device attached to me all day, costing me money, restricing me to when I can and cannot use it, slipping to the bottom of my bag where I cannot retrieve it, dying when I need to use it, and cutting out in my apartment. Yeah, au revoir pink phone! What I do have is this:

This phone came with my apartment. It's old. And see that book on the left? That is an address/phone book. Crazy, I know! Yeah, you write people's phone numbers in there. The day I cancelled my cell-phone, I bought that bad-boy and transferred all of my phone numbers into it. I have even memorized a few numbers in the past week. Pretty neat, eh?! I'm stoked!

So, have I told you how crazy my life is going to get soon? Yeah, in the next year I'm going to find a new job for October - December, apply to BCIT's OHS diploma program, travel around South East Asia for 1-2 months, find a new job when I get back and perhaps a new apartment, apply for student loans and, if all goes according to plan, start my next round of edumacation in September '08, where my life will consist of nothing but school for the next two years. Yay! So, I'm a little scared...or a lot scared, whichever, but totally excited about moving forward with my life. I do have alternative plans for if plan A does not work out, but, right now, I'm focused on the A.

Tonight, however, I am not going to think about this because my beach volleyball team won a night at the Molson brewery for having the most fun points. Instead, I will drown my worries in beer and pizza. :)

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

The clouds are beginning to clear

Holy...the summer has flown by. I seem to say this every year, but seriously where did it go? I'm not ready for September yet, dammit! I hate taking breaks from blogging because I always feel like I need to explain my absence before I can resume my usual random stories. So, like always, I guess I've just been busy. Busy with work and everyday life. I've been working 10-11 hour days (waking up at the ungodly hour of 5:00 am) in order to finish some work projects that all have impossible-oh-my-god-you-must-have-this-done-like-right-now-if-not-sooner-okay? deadlines. Which means that I'm taking this Friday off to go to Nainamo for my second long weekend in a isn't that bad I guess (here's where we'll be spending the weekend). Oh, yeah, I've also stopped eating gluten (i.e. pasta, breads, sauces, etc...) in an attempt to get a handle on my digestive issues. It seems to have helped, but whether this is due to the lack of gluten or the increased amount of fruit and veggies I've added to my diet to compensate for the huge gaping hole it has suffered is still to be determined. I don't think I've ever eaten so much fruit and veg at any other time in my life. So far today, I've had a nectarine, a grapefruit, and spaghetti squash with tomato and veggie sauce (as well as the egg-white omelet I had for breakfast). Before I leave work I will also have eaten a kiwi, a spinach salad with cucumber, tomato and watermelon and 2 crisp local cucumbers. Oh yeah, my grocery bills have almost doubled, but I've been forced to completely change the way I think about food, which, so far, is a good thing.

Hmm...other news...other news...

One of my best friends is pregnant! I was her Maid of Honor last August and I'm so excited for her and her husband. They are going to be great parents and the baby's DNA is primed for ultimate cuteness. I can't wait! I have so many babies to play with now.

I am nursing my first sunburn of the season. It's lopsided. I failed to realise that watching the Pride Parade with the sun beating down on my left side would leave me in a lobster like condition. On ONE side. I think the only thing worse about getting a sunburn is getting an uneven sunburn. Meh.

Sean and I are trying to figure out where we should go in November for a 2-4 week trip. So far, we have narrowed it down to three different regions Central America, South America, or South East Asia. Obviously, we could only do one of these in that time frame. Any suggestions?

I think that is all.

P.S. Good-luck CC xoxo!