What would Freud say about that??
**Yes, I know it's been a while since my last (good) post. And, yes, you have come to rely on my daily banterings and hilarious (if only to me and my close relatives) anecdotes....BUT, I'm not a machine people, being THIS funny is hard (not to mention that I got a bit paranoid about posting these on the *cough*cough* Company's time) ...okay, so without any further ado...**
What would Freud say about that?
That's my new line. It works for almost anything...
(some of these are real examples, some are fictitious.....okay!)
- While waiting for Mr. P to give me a ride home the other day, he 'mistakenly' called my house when trying to reach his EX (now, "good-friend", two years post break-up) ... to which I replied --- what would Freud say about that? (do you detect bitterness, insecurity... *ahem* jealousy in my tone??? What?! Me?! Never!! No, REALLY, I'm taking this 'friends with the Ex' thing pretty well I think...and, uh, no...that is not the sound of my teeth grinding...whatever **hmmpf!!**... FYI: there will be (don't you worry) a (juicy) post about this "topic" soon, but I'm waiting to figure out what I truly feel about it before I start the blogging process)
- When the sisters commented on the size of my (reletively speaking) HUGE cajungas... I simply replied...what would Freud say about that?
- When a close friend divulged to me that a "good spanking" evokes the same pleasure that she and I share for an eight layer hazelnut chocolate cake at True Confections...I simply replied (and attempted to raise my right eyebrow a la Carrie Bradshaw )...say it with me people: WHAT. WOULD. FREUD. SAY. ABOUT. THAT. MISSY?
- Every time I give my number out to a man whom I am a/. not attracted to b/. somewhat repulsed by AND c/. unable to carry a mature conversation with...I usually think to myself, "self, what would good ol' S.F. say about that, huh? No, really?? What's wrong with you woman?!! How many men do you have to employ the avoid-with-the-help-of-caller-ID tactic on until you get it through your (fabulous) thick scull...that your idea of politeness is your messed-up way of self-validation...?? Err...I digress...*'scuse me, for that outburst*
- Lastly, when my Mom inevitably calls me up (and actually gets in contact with me) with a somewhat "suggestive" quote from my blog still fresh in her mind, perhaps from this blog entry, disgruntled and mortified by my "blunt disclosures" I will reply....well, by now (hopefully) you-know-what.
- SIDE NOTE: I just had an ingeniuos idea...bracelets with WWFSAT on them...of course, pronounced W. W. F. Sat.