You know I don't like it when you talk all technical on me

Yesterday, I had to call a computer programmer to help me install some software that we were having problems installing at work. This, to me, was a very undesirable task. For one, I don't like calling people I don't know and secondly, I knew I was going to come off sounding like a computer illiterate bimbo. Before I made the call, I psyched myself up: "don't sound like an idiot...don't sound like an idiot".

So with no further ado...the transcript from my phone call:

Tech Guy: Good morning, KCTL.
Me: Hi, could I speak with Mr. Tech Guy?
Tech Guy: That's me.
Me: Oh hi, my name is Bryanna. I'm calling from KCLS and was referred to you by so-and-so from NOCLS...I'm having some difficulty installing the program you created for NOCLS.
Tech Guy: *deep sigh* Okay, do you have "big technical term” on your computer?"
Me: er, I'm not sure.
Tech Guy: *another! deep sigh* well, the "something technical" has changed and you have to download "something technical" before you can install the program.
Me: Riiiight.
Tech Guy: I'll e-mail you the link and the instructions...call me if you need any help.
Me: Thanks...my e-mail address is...

Of course, I needed to call him again! Here's where our second conversation gets real good.

Tech Guy: Now paste that into the "technical term".
Me: *eyes like mini saucers looking at the computer screen with no clue what he's talking about* Where do I paste this?
Tech Guy: In the "technical term".
Me: Um, I don't see it.
Tech Guy: *yet another! deep sigh and in an I-can't-believe-I'm-talking-to-such-an-idiot tone* What exactly do you see on the screen?
Me: Um, lots of windows *chewing my pink gum and twirling my hair with my right index finger*

At this point I can tell he's getting pretty frustrated with me and I'm trying very hard not to burst out laughing because I'm sure he already thinks I'm an air-head.

Tech Guy: You don't see a window with the "technical term"?
Me: Oh, yeah...it's right here (duh). Okay, I've pasted in the code.
Tech Guy: Now, press "some technical button".
Me: Ok...um, it says that "some technical term" does not exist and I cannot proceed.
Moment of uncomfortable silence.
Tech guy: *deepest of the deep sighs yet* Okay, well I'll have to get so-and-so to help you out then. I'll send him your contact information.
Me: Okay...thanks.

If only you could have seen my face during this conversation...eye rolling and silent laughing gallore. I'm a tech guy's worst nightmare!