Bryanna and the City

Thursday, May 12, 2005

And "You got the Love" could be heard playing in the background...

When I was five I would rip off my band-aids....

One swift movement and it was gone.

It would hurt. I might have even let out a little cry. But about 30 seconds later the pain would be gone. Perhaps a little residue of band-aid glue would be left behind...maybe even a little red mark, but the point is, the PAIN would be GONE.

I tend to do this in life.

Especially, in relationships...with men in particular. When they end...I make it fast. The hurt is more intense, but it doesn't linger. I usually allow myself to mourn for one day...maybe two.

I don't do this to be cruel or mean...I do this to protect myself. I've gotten VERY good at it...perhaps TOO good. But the glue residue has built up and the red marks have multiplied...and sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it...

And then I watched the last episode of Sex and the City last night and I realised just how worthwhile it all is. When Carrie said , "I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love", it made me realise that it definitely is worth it...even all the tears and pain because in the end true love is what I want and what I deserve.

I'm not sure how many band-aids I will have to rip off in the future, but I'm confident that one day one just won't come off...I won't even have to try.