Bryanna and the City

Friday, February 18, 2005

For Sophie & Prince : Part II

I often wondered why Sophie opened up to me that day. It wasn't until I started this blog that I realized why. When someone has a story to tell it grows inside you like a little seed until it's forced to be released. From the moment I met Sophie, I knew she was bursting with something, I could tell she had a story to tell. I t didn't matter that I was a complete stranger, actually the fact that I was a complete stranger probably made all the difference. She didn't want me to judge her or pity her, she didn't want to tell me her whole life story, she had one story she needed to tell, one story of many in her numerous years to get out and I was so lucky to be the one hear it.

When stories are not told the little germinating seed inside you begins to rot. I could feel it inside me before I started this blog. I could taste the rot in my throat and I knew it would soon spill out into my exterior being if I didn't do something about it.

As a young girl I was always very quiet, preferring to spend hours at the beach during low tide exploring the tidal pools than interacting with adults or relatives. A part of me still prefers to do that today. I have an internal voice inside me that is always playing. I'm the type of person that enjoys a 5 hour bus ride with nothing to read or watch, I'm content with just sitting there, my eyes closed in my own private world. However, that's not what I'm "all about" and neither is this blog.

I started this blog to release the stories that were inside of me, to lesson the rot I could feel in my stomach. The stories I tell are just a fraction of who I am. If my life were an iceberg, my blog wouldn’t even be the tip. It's merely one H2O molecule of the greater whole. So don't assume you know me, who I am or what I am about because you've read some silly stories that occurred when I was young and naive. There's still what remains beneath the dark, cold water. The bulk of the mass from the iceberg lies there.

I'm not the quiet girl I used to be. I learned from my mother a long time ago that being timid and quiet would never get me anywhere. I've grown to become a strong woman, an intelligent woman, a woman who won't back down when challenged, a passionate woman, a creative woman. I'm confidant in who I am and what I stand for; my parents raised us that way. I will never make apologies for who I am, the experiences I've had and who I've become. This is my life and I only have one.

You're probably wondering why I decided to write this entry. The truth is I've wanted to write it for a long time. Just as I've always known that my blog wasn't indicative of who I was as a human being, I've always known that the other blogs I read are also just glimpses into someone else's world.

Someone warned me that what I write may give people a certain impression of who I am. If anyone has passed bad judgment on my character because of a few silly stories I've told, then that's their problem, not mine. I write this blog for me and no one else, and that's the way it has and always will be.