36, 24, 36...or something like that.

My bestfriend is getting married in August. She phoned me a couple of nights ago frantic for my measurements because the colour for the dresses that she chose is soon to be discontinued. So, luckily, I had to get some newly purchased jeans hemmed because I'm short and that's what short people do. I wasn't sure if random measurement taking was part of a tailor's job requirements, but when I asked her she was more than happy to strap a blue ribbon around my bust, waist and hips. If 36, 24, 36 is the ideal...let's just say I'm a little off...lacking in some areas and over abundant in others...when she told me my hip measurement (read: ass) I realised that my trunk was packing some definite junk and I'm a get, get, get, get, you drunk...er...anyways...that is all.