It's all luvverly jubberly mates

As suggested by SMS (my Super Middle Sis) in my previous post's comments (Bry I think that you should try to include as many "English" terms in your blogs as you can in preparation for the culture shock of London and also so I can laugh at you), I'm going to start inserting funny British slang in some of my posts now. Today's story will be full of it...go here for the definitions if need be... oh, and V will be writing it.

Hello my beautiful people, it's me, Ms. Shaw! Thought you'd never see the likes of me again since my first post, but here I am my darlings. Did you miss me? Of course you did! You're probably wondering why I'm here, well I love to tell a good cock and bull story that's all flim flam especially when it involves Bry and that fabulous DD. So here's one that's the dogs bullocks...

[DISCLAIMER: THIS POST IS IN NO WAY MEANT TO BE OFFENSIVE, LONDON SLANG IS OFFENSIVE IN NATURE, I'M NOT...SO IF YOU'RE INTO THE WHOLE PC THING...THEN DON'T READ THIS!!...AND TAKE SOME ADVICE FROM OSCAR WILDE "SERIOUSNESS IS THE ONLY REFUGE OF THE SHALLOW"]

A while back before DD and Bry decided to give up the hooch for some crazy Catholic reason, the two girls along with Lexi and Andrew were feeling a little Billy no mates so they belled each other up and decided it was about time to get banjaxed and head to the local bean-flicker and bum bandit bar for a night out on the tiles. It was brass monkeys out, so Bry decided to take the bus to Lexi's and Andrew's place instead of walking.

When she got there they all had a blinding good time getting pretty bladdered, then Bry said it was time to stop fart-arseing about and get going to the bar because it would be dead cert that there'd be a line up if they didn't. On the way there DD wouldn't shut her gob and kept saying "wah wah wahhh" and Bry thought it would be funny to float an air biscuit. Soon after Lexi asked, "who guffed?". Bry decided not to tell and keep her pie hole shut.

It turned out DD was a bit too legless and the guvs at the bar wouldn't let her in. Bry, Lexi and Andrew were choked to see DD leave in the cabbie but it turned out luvverly jubberly anyways and they all thought the knees up was the dogs bullocks. Luckily, none of them were arseholed enough to pull an an arse over tits like Lexi did at her birthday bash a month earlier.

Bry was totally Adam and Eved, to say the least, to bump into a bloke from the office that night. She tried to pull off a duck and dive but, crikey, he saw her anyways. She wasn't totally minging or off her face, but she was still gobsmacked nontheless to see him there and felt like a mong for being a little bladdered. He was probably thinking why doesn't she just naff off?

By 2:00 am they were all cabbaged and decided to call it a night, so they had it on their toes and all went home for a good kip.

The end.

*The British have way too many slang terms for drunk*
**This took me a long time**