This one should be filed under TMI
I've mentioned a couple of times that I "contracted" Mono this past summer, you know, the kissing disease that makes you really sleepy. Yeah, so I always thought that Mono would be great, you know, not having to do anything, not being able to eat and sleeping all the time...ummm yeah, I was totally wrong. Have you ever felt like you were going to die? Yeah? Well that's how I felt for two weeks last summer and for the rest of the summer I just felt like crap. Anyhoo, for some reason I remembered something about my summer of "The Great Illness" that I thought was pretty funny, but you may think it's a little TMI.
Okay. Here it goes...
At the peak of my Mono illness I had a headache, a fever, strep throat, jaundice (I was yellow), swollen glands everywhere (I mean EVERYWHERE) and I was nauseous and threw up a couple of times. The "funny" (definitely not "ha ha funny") thing was that I was averaging about 2 hours of sleep a day..why? Because I was in so much pain that I couldn't sleep.
So my mom (who along with my dad took care of me the whole time....love ya!) went to the pharmacy to find a solution to this problem. When she came back this is how the conversation went:
Mom: "So the Pharmacist gave me something so that you don't have to swallow your pain killers"
Me: "Cool. What is it?"
Mom: "A suppository."
Me: "Oh, great I hate having to swallow those pills...What's a suppository?"
Umm yeah. Needless to say, the thought of that didn't make me feel any better...However, I did find relief and sleep eventually when my mom found some T3's with codeine that she had left over from a previous surgery. Yay for my mom!
So my Mono story doesn't really end there...but I'll tell you about my blood platelet count dropping to nothing, not being able to shave my legs, my joints swelling up while waiting for the doctor, a trip to the emergency room, broken blood vessels all over my body and my mom hitting on the emergency room doctor and telling him that I eat liver another day. Until then, think of my face when my mom explained to me what a suppository was and where it goes...