"I don't have any panties on"

I was having some trouble deciding what to entitle this blog entry...I contemplated a few other titles such as "Rescue 9-11", "What the Skunk is That Smell?", "Just a Regular Saturday Night in the Ol' Basement Suite" and "Actually, it was the police department I needed"...However, in the end,"I don't have any panties on" won out because, well, panties is fun to type and say.

So, at approximately 11:00 p.m. last night, while washing my face and getting ready for bed, my nostrils detected a rather familiar smell...affectionately known as eau de Skunk. However, upon exiting the bathroom, my eyes and nostrils were assaulted with the most disgusting, eye stinging odor that I have EVER encountered. Okay, imagine a house, imagine a pissed off skunk and then imagine what it would smell like if that pissed off skunk was, indeed, INSIDE the house....well, there was no skunk inside the house, but gawddamn, it sure smelled like it.

My roomates, Danice and Beth, and I spent a few moments discussing and laughing about the potency of this skunk scent inside the house, even with all the windows shut. I however, had a feeling that this smell could possibly be something even more horrible than a skunk and perhaps not even a skunk at all, but gas...as in, propane gas. After retreating to our seperate rooms, I investigated this possibility with google and google seemed to agree:

Propane has a strong, unpleasant smell like rotten eggs, a skunk's spray, or a dead animal. Propane manufacturers add the smell deliberately to help alert customers to propane leaks, which can create a safety hazard.

Not wanting to perish in a firey ball of flames during the night, I quickly ran to Danice's room and revealed my suspicion. We decided to investigate the situation and, to make a long part of the story short, we both agreed that the source of the smell was coming from a vent on the side of the house and the source was actually from INSIDE THE HOUSE!

We ran back into the house to alert Beth, who had no pants on (we let her put some on), ran across the street and phoned the fire department. While waiting for the truck to arrive, we laughed about what we were wearing, however, I was the only one in my pajamas and, indeed, had no panties on (my mom would not approve, but I think the rule was "always wear a clean pair of panties in case of an emergency"..does no panties count?). Five minutes later, the truck arrived and not even parking, the fireman rolled down his window and said with a grin, "it's a skunk". After a few minutes of discussion about the smell and its strange potency inside the house, the five men and their truck left us...very embarassed, but even more upset that there was nothing we could do to solve the skunk smell problem.

Back in the house, in an attempt to seek out fresher air, we went upstairs and chatted for about 10 minutes and then decided to go back downstairs and call it a night. Not 2 minutes later we heard the creak of footsteps on the floor above us. We all thought that we were alone in the house. Our landlords were coming home the next night and their daughter rarely stayed over night...plus, the lights were off just minutes before and we didn't hear anyone come in. I was laughing so hard that I think I pulled a muscle...thinking about having to call 9-11 for the second time that night..this time requesting the police department (yes, I think there's an intruder in my house).

After getting our shoes on for the second time that night, we ran from the house in order to get a safer view of the unknown person upstairs. It turned out to be our landlord's daughter and when we went back inside, the first thing she said to us was, "I saw a skunk".


*Edited out funny fact from the night #1: Before leaving the house the first time, Beth turned down the heat register. I almost had a heart attack and screamed "don't touch it!"

**Edited out funny fact from the night #2: Danice, in response to the idea that it could be an intruder upstairs, declared "that would be r*t*rd*d". To which I responded through a fit of laughter, "well, I'm not going to get killed because you think it's r*t*rd*d!"

***Edited out funny fact from the night #3: When the firefighter told us to contact pest control about the skunk and that animals sometimes live inside old houses, I responded "I know, we have rats".

****Edited out funny fact from the night#4: While we were outside waiting for the truck to arrive, Danice and I complained of sore stomachs and headaches...drama queens.